Driving Me Crazy

My Precious is learning to drive. Now every time we leave the house she asks if she can drive. I hate it. Is that OK? One of the only perks of motherhood is being in control of the car. How, when, where, and how safely we go places is my choice. But if she is ever going to get her license letting her dive is the only way it will happen.

Things you learn when teaching your child to drive:

1. Tailgating. We all know this is an acceptable form of communication. It can mean ” You are going too slow!”, “No, I do not want to COEXIST!”, “You just cut me off and now you are going to pay for it!” or even, “I just bought three new pairs of shoes and must get them in the house before Grillman gets home!” Whatever the meaning, I have vowed to NEVER do it again. I am trying to teach Precious to drive the SPEED LIMIT. ot only because it is safer but for any driver under 18 it is cheaper. Next time you are late getting to your tattoo parlor on time, don’t tailgate a new driver. Tailgating and honking at her is even worse. Any car on the road can have a driver out for their first drive. Be scared. Be nice.

2. Turning left is harder than it looks. Turning right is also harder than it looks.

3. Screaming “What were you thinking!” at your child when they stop halfway into an intersection, not sure of what to do, does not help. Instead, scream, “GO! GO! GO! GO!” as loudly as possible.

4. Make sure your driver knows that changing the radio station, changing the song on the ipod, waving at friends, taking a sip of coffee, putting on makeup, finishing homework, texting, talking on the phone, eating, singing along, reading a book, holding hands with your .boyfriend, whistling, changing your nail polish and possibly breathing, are not aloud while driving. It doesn’t matter than she has seen you do these things, (well not the texting or the boyfriend part). Until she has been a driver for 30 years it is forbidden.

Now that your child has her license and you have paid the state about $1000 for the privilege,  sit back and relax.  She is now out there wielding a couple tons of metal around the world at breakneck speed, alone. No worries.


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One Response to Driving Me Crazy

  1. Bitsy says:

    You are seriously AWESOME!

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